high schoolkim stanleyright wingallergiesesteemwoman namedmeasleschorespediatriciansguilthigh schoolKim Stanleyright wingallergiesesteemwoman namedmeasleschorespediatriciansguiltboyfriendScanlonironydepressionscreaming yellingvolunteercriedDropped outHarvardbasementtelesystemsconfinecancersuicidevolunteeringcandyIranBostonKim StanleytelesystemsPhysically emotionallyIranmeaslesbasementthe doorRunning errandsScanlonmiddle class familiesanorexicallergiessuiciderialsdrink whiskeycrackshigh schoolcancerparentsdisownedguidance counselordisownedhairsprayguidance counselorcandytolkien'stragic EventsSarcasticsevere depressiondepressionabusescreaming yellingscreaming yellingnormalcyjuvenile delinquentwadedphysical abuseextremely upsetmanesright wingvolunteeringhomeless shelterslow processvolunteeredvolunteeredstrengthbehalfhigh schoolesteemKim StanleyHarvardBoston WMJX 106.7- Greater Media Boston Kim Scanlon In the Spotlight: Kim Scanlon no no http://media.podcastingmanager.com/57020-82022/Media/Kim_Scanlon.mp3?ref=rss Mon, 19 Mar 2007 05:34:00 GMT 00:18:26 Kim Scanlon thepeoplethattheylove.Thismorningwe'regoingtosalutethewomannamedKimScanlonandherstorywillreallytouchyour--my--totoagetacupofcoffeegettonewspaperaroundsitdownandlistenedtoourexceptionally--thisweek.MatchinglistsixpointsevenW--sponsor.That'sexcellentKimStanley.howdidyoumakeitthrough.HowdidyoukeepyourselfesteemwiththeiranyonewhowasyourspecialfriendtoallthingsIwaspretty.selfconscious.Ithinktheonlyplacetheyaveragearrivedinselfesteemwasthroughexportsfromtheoutsideitlookedlike.Theperfectrelationshipthatyouknowohhere'shisfatherwhoreallysupportsthecracks.NobodynoticedyouknowwhenIwas.Fifteenyearsinhighschool.Ihadreachedoutofguidancecounseloranddown.IfoundoutIwas--DESdaughter.Whichisadrugmyyearslater.AndbeingabletoseeanythingspeakTU.Wheninhighschooltobeabletostandupgivenorreport.Iyouknowsaytwowordsstutter.CryingwheneverIjustcouldn'tdoitIcouldn'tevenstandandtalktosomebodyyouknowwhatIcouldnotwhatpeopleintheirony.YouknowIhadsomuchyouknowshameandguiltand--suchlowselfesteem.AndandtodayIknowingmore--something.KimStanleyandwesaluteyou.Thisweek'sexceptionalwomanandtoourlistenersaweekKellythatifyouneedisservicesandOnformmagicwhenasixpointsevenWandchangeexpasta.Goodmorningandwelcometoexceptionalwomenexceptionalwomenaroundthere.Somemakeheadlinesandothersmakethingshappenquietlyintheirlivesinthelivesofthepeoplethattheylove.Thismorningwe'regoingtosalutethewomannamedKimScanlonandherstorywillreallytouchyour--my--totoagetacupofcoffeegettonewspaperaroundsitdownandlistenedtoourexceptionally--thisweek.MatchinglistsixpointsevenW--sponsor.That'sexcellentKimStanley.Thisweek--ourexceptionalwomanshe'savictimofsexualabuseasachildanddomesticabuseastheyounglife.Kimhaspickedherselfupturnedherlifearoundifyouaresufferingatthehandsofsomeonewho--few.Kim'sstorywillhebethestrengthifyouneedtobreakawayandtostartagainthePhilwelcomehecametomagic.ThankyouJimtelesystemsgrowing--whohavebeenintheclass.Homefrom--materialbelongingsandeverythinglookedperfectontheoutside.Buttherealityissincethattimewhatwentonbehindcloseddoors--muchdifferent--itappearedontheoutsideIcould'vebeenaveryabusivehome.Physicallyemotionallyandandsexualabusewasuncommonplace.--AndIthoughtmyadvocatequestionthatmaybeaskingsomequestions.Astowhatwasgoingonthattheydidn'tinmountain.Ijustdidn'tknowhowtoreach.Forhelpitwasjustyouitwasallforwardhe'sinexperiencedsexualabuseandwhowhohandswiththis.Myfather's.AndbullyIran.Friendsofmycomments.Onesevenmeasles.Duelistagroupthatusedtomeinin--basement.Intheneighborhood.Andintime.Basicallyhehadheturns.Takethethinginandthenwentonforsometimetobattleinangels.Andthen.Andthenitwasforthemostpartbasicallyenactment.Andwhatthatyourmom.Mymotherwasn'tthere--usually.--timeswhenshedoesn'talotofthingshappenedinthemiddleofdenying--thingsandhiding.Behindthedoorwhen--andthen--thatcangrabyou.Andandthingswouldhappenthatwayit'salso.Runningerrandsandthathewouldtakeme--andthingswouldhappenwithalotofabusetheyusuallyisn'twitnesses.Oriftherewitnessesnewonesthatarealsobeingabused--taking.Forthoseofyouwhoarejustjoining--goodmorningthenameofourprogramisexceptionalwomenandthewomanwhosevoiceyouhear--canScanlon.Andshe'sheretoverycandidlytellusherstory.Ahistoryofsexualabusebyherfather.Andlateronthestoryyou'llfindoutaboutdomesticabusefromherhusbandlikeshe'sokayandsheturnedherlifearound.Andtheideaofhavingheronthismorningissothat.Iftherearepeopleouttherewhohaveasimilarstory.Hecanbeyourexampleandshecanbeyou'reexceptionalwomanaswellsowewelcomeyouonboardthismorningtomagic--sixpointseven.Kimthestorysoundstometobesuchalonelyplaceforachildtobehowdidyoumakeitthrough.HowdidyoukeepyourselfesteemwiththeiranyonewhowasyourspecialfriendtoallthingsIwaspretty.homeoncetheygetoutsideisextremelyshybutI'mveryselfconscious.Ithinktheonlyplacetheyaveragearrivedinselfesteemwasthroughexportsfromtheoutsideitlookedlike.Theperfectrelationshipthatyouknowohhere'shisfatherwhoreallysupportshisdaughter'sonly--forherandshowingupto--andeverythingyouknow.Canyouyou'vecommentedthatyouguyswiththebasicmiddleclassfamilieslivefromtheoutsideitlookedlikeeverythingwas.HewasokaybutIIthinkthethingisthat.InifpeopleknewthesignsandIthinkpeopleknowthesignsmorenowandtheydidthatthenandpeoplearetalkingaboutitmorenow.IwasanorexicwhenIwaseleven.Iwas.Youknowthesame--nowprobablyaboutfortypoundsthinner.Anditwaskindofputofffrompediatriciansbeingallergiesandtryingtoputhimmedication.Theywere.ManysilentalonesuicideattemptsandyouknowIwakeupinthemorningyouknowkindofwishIhadn't.Youknowtakingpillsandwheneverandandcontinue--Ialsodrankthatwasmynextquestionherewasonereleaseforyouandnowwithalcoholrialsaboutyeah.I--itwasalsosomethingthat.Started.WhenIwasfive--firstdrunken--waswhenIwasfive.--Iwasforcedtodrinkwhiskey.AndstreetinthatwasusedsoIcouldn'tyouknowrememberorinmymemorywouldbe.Foggy.Iscertainlyduringthesexuallyabusedherduringthebreakyoudownso.AndIeyesorehatedalcoholandIwouldneveruseitbut.AtonepointwhenIwaselevenIdecidedtopickituponmyownin.AndIrealizedititandnumbingeffectandinthemIdidn'tlikemyselfImean.Ithinklikealotofpeoplewho'vebeenabusedtheytheyblamethemselvestheycarryalotofshame.AndthatsomehowIhadsomeresponsibility.Myfatherandandotherpeoplethatabuseme.HelpedmefeelthatwayyouknowitwasbecauseofthewayI'lllook--Iwasn'tthereforhimImeethimdothistome.ButwhenIput.The--intomeit's.HelpmedidIfeltlikeIcouldbesomebodyelseIdidn'thavetobeoneline--athimlikehejustfellthroughthecracks.NobodynoticedyouknowwhenIwas.Fifteenyearsinhighschool.Ihadreachedoutofguidancecounseloranddown.IfoundoutIwas--DESdaughter.Whichisadrugmymothertoughwhenshewaspregnantwithme.Andtheydidn'trealizethatthetime.Thathavenegativeeffectsundefeated.AndthemthatIwasgoingtobemoresusceptibletocancerinhis--atthetopofficers.Whenmyparentsfoundoutthat.That--itwasagoodpossibilitymakingentitybasicallydisownedmeIwasallowedtoliveinthehousebutIwasn'tallowedto.--don'tspeaktothemmoretotheotherkidsinthehome.Iwasjustsupposedtodo--choresandthatthisistoomuchforthemtohandleandIwasonmyownIhavetofinemandoctorsandandeverythingelsetosee.I'mwhatwason--andthen.Theyjustcouldn'tdealwiththisitsoundslikeamoderndayhorrorstories--onlythephysicallevelmodelstournamenttoonemanhewas.YeahitreallywasbutIwenttothisguidancecounselortoldhimthatmyparentshavedisownedmeIcouldn'tdealwithwhatwasgoingon.IIrealizenowlookingbackIwashavinghairspraydanced.YouknowIwasatcollegeandhonorslevelstudentinandIwasthatbecauseIhadnochoicebecauseIdidn'tbringhomethegradethebeatingswouldbemuchworse.Then.Whatithavetodealanditalsosoundslikeyouhadyourown.Inyourmodelthatyouwantittobeperfectsothatpeoplewouldlikeyoubecauseyouwerecarryingaroundsomuch--Inthisguidancecounselorcontentjustsentmewellyouhavetounderstandyouprobablywon'tdieIcheckedinto.Andwheneverandyouleftand--thatthisisalotofparents.Wherethoseofyouwhoarejustjoining--goodmorningI'mcandyunitaryyou'relisteningtomagicwonasixpointsevenWandthenameofourprogramisexceptionalwomen.Andthismorningwesalute--scandalandherstorywilltouchyourheartanditwillalsobeverysadandifyoulikemeI'mgettingveryangryasIlistentothisstoryasaparentaswell.Butherstoryisimportantforallofustohearbecausecampfeltthroughthecracks.Crackswhichwehopedon'texistsomuchin1993astheydidintheseventiesandeightieswhen--wasgrowingupshe'syoungwomanshe'sonlythirtyyearsold.Let'smoveontothenextphaseinyourlifeyou'reeighteenyouleavehome.Iwenttocollegebecausethatwasthethingtodo.Andwehadthingshadtolookgoodontheoutside.InIwasputtingmyselfthroughschoolbutatthisthingkind.Youknowmyparentsreallydidn'twanttobecausetheydidn'thaveacollegeeducationinandsowedidn'twantmeto--theydidn'thand.Andthosethose--tobegratefulandfortunateforwhatevertheygavemewhichisalotofmaterialthingsandyouknowthatwassupposedtomakeupfromtheUPs.ButwhileIwasincollege.Imeantanotherguy.AndIjustwantedtogetoutofmyhomebasicallyIdidn'twant--havetogobackhomeyouknowhewasthetolkien's--silenttypeyouknow.Strong.Andyouknowthingsyou'reyouknowwe'rereallynicefromthebeginning.DidyouconfinehimaboutthesexualabuseisnowactuallyIhad.Ihadblockedalotof--blockingcountmemories.Reallytragic.Eventsasachildisverycommoninordertosurvive.YoublockanditcouldtherewasnothingelseanddidIdidstartremembering--hadn'tseenforaboutthreemonths.Anyreallydidn'tknowwhattodowiththememoryIdidn'treallyknowmuchaboutwhatabuselife.Youknowtherewastheoccasional--down--Sarcasticdreamactthatwouldmakemefeelbadaboutmyself.AndIwasextremelyinsecure.IalwaysthoughtIhadtobegratefulforwhoeverwasinmylifeyoufillhimwiththeandIdid.Nowfordon'tthinkitreallyknewandlovedones--movedintogetheractuallyadvancingintotheherbodyhere.Whichisjustbeforeitturnedtoonein.WithinamonthIgotintoaseveredepression.Droppedoutofcollege.Andwentto--schoolpsychiatrist.Atthecollegeandtheonethinghedidtellmeoncehesays.AndIdon'trememberwhatItoldhimaboutmyboyfriendatthetimebuthesaid.Yourproblemisyouboyfriendneedtoleavehim.Andhedidn'texplainanyfurtherthanIthoughthewascrazyandIthoughtthiswastheonlypersoninmylifethatwaspositive.Lettheabuse--hebegan.Youknow.Inshovingme--neverlikeahitoranythingbut.YouknowIdidn'tunderstanditlikethrowingthingsandpunchingdoorsandkickingmallsandscreamingyellingin.WhichIusedtoscreamingyellinginindefenseonlybecauseIIjustdidn'tknowwhatelsetodo.IIjustdidn'tunderstand.Iandhealwayspromisedthatthingsgetbetter.Youknowonthingshavechanged.AndthathelovedmeIdon'tthinkyouhaveanysenseofnormalcyeithergoingintotherelationshipnowIdidn't--maybe.I--methisisn'tthewayoffingwhen--knowwasn't.But.YouknowIthoughtIwasshouldbegratefulImeanafterbeatingwhateverelseIwastoldit.Theyonlydidthisbecausethey--me.Youknowaftertheabuseitwasbecauseyouknowsexualabusephysicalabuse--youknowyou'reluckythatwedothistoyou.Youknowfield--to--agoodpersonyouwon'tgrowuptobethethatjuveniledelinquentacrossthestreetsoinsomerespecttothebackofmyheadwithmyexhusband.I'mfeelinglikesomehowIdeservedthisandIwaskindofbeingputinline.Butthoseofyouwhoarejustjoining--you'relisteningto--Scanlonandsheisourexceptionalwomanforthisweek.Sheworksataplacecalledharbor--inafewminuteswe'regonnagettogether.Andtalkaboutthewonderfulworkthatshedoesbearandthewaded.Shehasturnedherlifearoundwhendidyouknowthatyouhadhadenoughinyourrelationshipwithyou'rewithyourhusbandwasthereapointinyourlifewhereyousaidthisisit.I'mgoingtoleavehim.Theabusewasprogressiveit'ssolidprogressandwewereintheirrelationshipforaboutthreeyearsbeforeIgotmyfirstpunchonceIgotpregnantwithmysonthingsweretheworst.Andthepregnancy.Itdidn'tseemtomaketenth.That's--thephysicalabuseescalated.The--emotionalabuse.--really.--terrifying.Youknow--meancallingthrowingfoodatmethrowingdishesthatme.YouknowflickingthechannelIanditwasrememberingalotmoreofmyincest.Throughthepregnancywhichisn'tuncommon.Thatthat'satatimewhenthingsstarttocomeon.Andhewouldflipthechannelstorapescenes.And--keypadonthereandIonepoint.IwasfightingwithintheTVtoshutitoffitwasitwastime.Youknowreallysettingofffanscryinginextremelyupsetinthem.Gotonthefloormanesandwasbegginghimtopleasestopanddown.WithsteeltoeworkbootshetriedtokickmeinthehandandImovedoutofthe--kindoftookmethreetimes.Trying.Forgood.Thefirsttime--andMcCainnoplacetogoonanislandpacktwoweek.Thesecondtime.FeellikeyouknowIusuallyitwasgoingme.Andworkingthrough--I'mtryingtoputsomemoneykind.Intheyearafterthatsecondtimeitwasformerightwingto.Volunteer.Ataplacecalledharborme.Whichis--thatwouldmeanIdidn'tknowthatthatitwas.TwoyearspriorIhadbeenvolunteeringhomelessshelter.12keysandmy.YouknowtokeepmefromfifteenforFord--thatitwas--Purelybyaccident.Wheninthe--Andwhenitwentthroughthevolunteerinterview.Theyexplainedtomethisisthebetter--program.Andaskedmeexplainsomethingaboutmy.Ididin.Explainedtomewasthatmoment.Wasthelikely--to--you--abusedwomandidweleaveviewfromtheguiltandresponsibility.Forthingshappeningyoulikethatwithout.We'renotwithin--YeahitwasaprocessitwasaveryslowprocessIstillheldontosomeresponsibility.I'mthinkingnowwillIhadn'tdonethisthenthen.Youknowhewouldn'tofsaidthathewouldn'tofdonethis.ButIcametoslowlyrealizethatitdoesn'tmatter.Whatyoudobirthday.Thereisnoexcuseforsomebodytopieceofbeing--goingthroughthevolunteertrainingIcriedthroughmostofitbecauseIcouldidentify.Withsomuch.Ivolunteeredthere.Andheusedto--facilitateparenting.Onsupportgroup.Thereforwomenthatlivedinthetransitionalhousingprogram.Andtheygavetome.IthinkyouknowsometimesmoreandIfeltlikeacasetothem.Intoreallylisten.Ablessinginanopportunity.Tobeabletobeinthatsituation.Andtobeabletolearnaboutmyselfintogifttoothersatsametime.Ivolunteeredherefortwoyears.Youknowthepeople--thewomenthatworkedat--mesupportedmesomuchface--thingsinmeIdidn'tseeinmyself.Onthestrength.Youknowrealpotential.Andtheyannouncedneedtobeonstand.Ithoughtyou'recrazy.AndhowmanysignalyoucandoitIhadnocommentand--youknowspokenontheirbehalf.AndtoseehowoureconomyinthattimeI'venowbeenonstafffortwoandahalfyearswasjustfourandahalfyearslater.AndbeingabletoseeanythingspeakTU.Wheninhighschooltobeabletostandupgivenorreport.Iyouknowsaytwowordsstutter.CryingwheneverIjustcouldn'tdoitIcouldn'tevenstandandtalktosomebodyyouknowwhatIcouldnotwhatpeopleintheirony.YouknowIhadsomuchyouknowshameandguiltand--suchlowselfesteem.AndandtodayIknowingmore--something.KimStanleyandwesaluteyou.Thisweek'sexceptionalwomanandtoourlistenersaweekKellythatifyouneedisservicesandHarvardmeetprovidesintheKimhadtoldaboutMcCain'sinterview.Onlyneedtodoiscall--needs24dollaradayhotline.8848974.I'm--andTerrythanksagainforjoiningusfor--exceptionalwomenifyouknowanexceptionalwoman--havetodo--writeto--andpostofficebox.352thatthey--Boston021.OnformmagicwhenasixpointsevenWandchangeexpasta.Kim Scanlonhigher educationmental healthsean conneryhigh schoolmedical carewhite housebeacon hillvice presidentboston commonnext generationshe'smarriedsheisthemomtothreechildrentheyoungestahighschoolsenior.We'llfindoutalittlelateronthishalfhouraboutthatbalancingactbetweencareerfamilyandpursuingahighereducation.ButIwannagetbacktosomeofthenutsandboltsoftheCrittentonwomen'sunion.That'swhatprogramsdoyoumyfamilymovedtoKansas.AndIlivedinKansasforjuniorhighschoolinhighschoolinthefirstpartofmycollege.Itwasgreatplacetobeatapreadolescent--teenagerbutIneverIwasthatageandondiditallthewaythroughhighschool.AndultimatelyI'mwentintoschoolandbecameapositionassistant.ThinkingthatIwouldusethatasawaytosupporthusband--tohavethegraybeardlooksalotlikeSeanConneryandIknow.IttheyhavemyhusbandandhadthePh.D.thatIhavefromtheschoolIhaven'thaddoneishasmynameonitI'msureit'sgottabeamentalhealthdiagnosissomewherethatithas--forshoreasaposterchild.Butthatthatprocessofdoingman--becauseIwomenwhodon'tthinktheycanhappenallwhothinkthatfamilyhighereducation.Andacareerthatmatters.Isnotaworkablethingtoday.creativelovelythingswiththeirlives.Andasonwho'sstillinhighschoolwho'samusicianandthenverycreativethen.I'mjustblastyouknowwedothingstogetherasafamilythatIElizabeth Babcocknew booksuper bowlunited statesnext generationmcgraw-hillmarylandsunday schoolgolden rulemother's dayprocter & gambleCEOofCarlson.OneofthelargestprivatelyheldcompaniesintheUnitedStates.Andshe'stheauthorofthenewbook.HowweleadmatterssheisMarilynCarlsonNelsonwelcometotheshowthankyousomuchcandyamdelightedtobe.toputtogether--groupandconvincetheNFLtobringtheSuperBowltoMinnesota.WhenIwastalkingtotheselectioncommitteewhichincludePete--theyhadoftheNFLthetimes.CEOofCarlson.OneofthelargestprivatelyheldcompaniesintheUnitedStates.Andshe'salsotheauthorofabookyou'vegottogooutandgetonbigsliceofinspirationit'scalledUSpresidentoftheUnitedStateswithAbbyokay.There'salineisyourcupmalignhimsingWhitneygot.Goodmorningandwelcometoexceptionalwomentheladywho'slaughingintheladiesteaching--somuchthismorning.IsMarilynCarlsonNelsonshe'stheauthorofthenewbookhowweleadmattersreflections.Onalifeofleadershipandshesharinghowshegottowheresheistoday.Sheturnthemintouponus--I'mthrilledbecauseIthinkthenextgenerationisveryexcitedtomakeadifferenceandIhopethattheyworldthinkofbusinessesanopportunitytodothatanddidthisnotonlyinMinneapolisMinnesotaandnot--intheUnitedStatesbutthatweactuallybegantheprocessofbuildingatruemeritocracy.Aroundtheworld.AndyoucouldsignyournametoMarilyn Carlson Nelsonhigh schoolwall streetcentral parksurvivornew york city marathonnew york statenew jerseytrishaachillessewedSoyoursurvivoronsomanylevelsthatwemightnotevenknowaboutMhmm.Goodmorningyou'relisteningtoexceptionalwomenI'mgay--onmagicwonasixpointsevenandthisweek'sguestisTrishaMiley.ThisCentralParkjogger.--allofourexceptionalwomenhavefacedroadblocksinlifegettingpastobstaclestakesstrengththatcertainlytakescourageyouYalewere--schoolsawomanwhoWheldonatonetimeonWallStreetandyet.threesimplewordsandyou'llknow.Who--India's.She'stheCentralParkjogger.Shekeptheridentityissecretthroughthesurgeriesandtherehab.Asecretasshetriedtorebuildthelifethatabrutalattackcouldbeeasilyruined.OnApril191989TrishawasinNewYorkinvestmentbankerwithSolomonBrothersshewasat28yearoldoverachiever.Shelikedtojogincentralparkatnighttoworkoutthestressoftheday.Soshewentforherrunthatnightshortlyafter9PM.WithouteverwantinganykindoftitlethisCentralParkjoggerbecameasymbolforsexualviolenceagainstwomen.Onthatfatefulnight--wasbrutallyassaulted--rapedandleftforthestorydownit'sbeenabookstoresinceAprilIamtheCentralParkjogger.Thestoryofhopeandpossibilitypublishedbyscribner.Iasked--ifwehavemetbeforethenightoftheneedingtoslaughter.ItstartedwhenIwasaboutfifteeninhighschool.assomeonewhohasabraininjuryyouknowasarapesurvivorearnedforalongtime.Iwantedpeople--mebeforetheyknewmylabels.SomeonewithabraininjuryorrapesurvivorandandthoughtEIdon'twantthem--andtomakethoughisconnectionsorassociationswhateverthose--soassociationswouldasixpoint79gaveVernontoday'sguest.IsTrishaMileytheCentralParkjogger.--visitedBostonthisfalltospeakattheBraintreehospitalconferenceonneurorehabilitation.ShealsospoketoanorganizationI'mgay--andthisisexceptionalwomenandTrishaMileytheCentralParkjoggeristhisweek'sguestandTriciafromwhatIreadIknowthat.Youdon'trememberanythingaboutthatattack.Hegave--myguesttodayisthewomanknownastheCentralParkjogger.TrishaMiley.ItisveryhardforanybodynottofeelachillgodowntheirspinewhentheyrememberfirsthearingabouttheCentralParkattack.It'samiracle--thatyourearherebutyou'renotjusttearyouwalkedintothesemagicexceptionalwomenstudiosMymessageisoneofbeingasurvivorthat'showI'dliketobeing.Youknowassomeonewho'smovingforwardinyouknowinspiteofwhat'shappenedandforandiftheassociation.IsmadebetweenTrishaMileyintheCentralParkjogger.That'sokaywithmebecausetome.It'ssomethingI'mproud.ThatthatI'vecomeasfarasIhavesoTrisha Meili